By Jess at B Swish


 

Sharing is Caring …Or, at least that’s what they taught us as kindergarteners. For some of us, this is still true well into adulthood as we explore our pleasure. Sex with multiple partners can be an enticing erotic daydream, but unlike our fantasies, a satisfying threesome usually doesn’t just spontaneously happen. It’s not easy to get the cosmos to align for a perfect private pleasure party. But! As we also learn as youngsters: the greatest satisfaction always follows a hard day’s work.


 

A. Preliminary Scouting Expedition

When couples in closed, committed relationships ask me about inviting a third, my advice is always the same: Don’t forget to be careful! If your relationship is on the rocks, a threesome isn’t going to save it. Without pro-level communication, the experience might interfere with the relationship. Even for seasoned trios, the nuances of bodily logistics and the complexities of intrapersonal dynamics are tough to predict. There’s no if’s, and’s or but’s about it: a threesome will change your dynamic. However, by doing the necessary legwork up front, hopefully, it enhances sexual pleasure in the relationship. Whether you’re the one initiating the ménage à trois or you're a partner trying to be GGG, both partners need to ask themselves:

  • ● How would you feel seeing your partner enjoying sexual intercourse with another person?

  • ● What if your partner seemed to enjoy sexual encounter more with another person than sex with you?

  • ● What if you were brushed aside during the threesome?

  • ● How would you feel if you enjoyed sex with the third more than sex with your partner?

Be honest with yourself. If you’re uncomfortable with any of these ideas, you may not be ready for it.


 

B. All Hands on Deck


Once you bridge the topic and are both on board, work together to find your guest star. Making sure you select a partner you both want to enjoy will boost comfort level and confidence all around. As a bonding experience,
you’ll both learn about yourselves and your relationship in the experience.
If you and your S.O. didn’t hatch the ménage-a-plan together, you might consider letting your partner take the lead in selecting a third. If this is your fantasy and your partner is indulging it, letting them choose a partner for both of you is an organic way to assure your S.O. that this is about the experience and not about having sex with a new partner.

Back in the day, it was more difficult to find a unicorn. These days, of course—there’s an app for that! Dating apps and kink apps – and yes, even dedicated threesome apps –  make catching the eye of a potential play partner a little easier. Be ready for some rejection along the way. Once you’ve made a connection, meet your play-partner in a non-sexual setting to make sure there’s chemistry for everyone. It’s a surefire way to get an inkling of what the dynamic will be in the sack.


 

C. Ground Control


Traffic-controlling three bodies as well as three sets of hopes, desires and boundaries isn’t always a walk in the park but it is ultra-important. Talk with your partner about one another’s boundaries before you start your unicorn-hunt. This is consent we’re talking about here: be 100% clear with each other about what kinds of sex you each want in addition to where you absolutely will not go. During your frank pre-play discussions with your third, make it your business to know in detail what their limitations and desires are as well.


Not all threesome experiences are created equal! While all three play-partners agree to jump into bed together, that doesn’t necessarily mean your partners are willing to explore all your deepest desires. Your communication should be exhaustive/borderline obsessive. Establish clear rules about who can do what to and for whom AND who cannot do what to whom. Be very specific: from touching and kissing to oral and penetration and everything in-between! Think less all-in free-for-all and more carefully-curated-erotic-scripts-performed-in-harmony. It rolls off the tongue!


 

D. Journey into the Unknown


Of course a little awkwardness is inherent to the scenario,  but trust me when I tell you that it’s hard to  keep the good vibes going when one participant feels really uncomfortable or left out. Remember what it was like for Sex and the City’s fabulous Samantha when she got “onesome’d” during her trio experience with Richard and the restaurant hostess? If anyone is worried about a potential onesome-ing, there are some things you can do to help each other during the entanglement:


  • ● Keep up regular eye contact

  • ● Gentle caresses and reassuring glances go a long way : )

  • ● Make an agreement between all partners to end the encounter if anyone feels too uncomfortable

  • ● Establish two “safe words” – one to subtly communicate discomfort and another one to request an end to the scenario


On the flipside, if you simply can’t bear the thought of being onesome’d, you may not truly be ready for a threesome.


 

E. Safety First, not S.O.S.


It’s another basic truth we all learned early in life that still holds true. And.it.is.non-negotiable

STDs, injuries and pregnancies are real. Before you dive in, everyone should get on the same safer-sex path. Everyone should communicate their STD-statuses—you and your S.O. may be fluid-bonded, but your guest star is probably having sex with other people. Have plenty of condoms, dental dams, sanitizing play wipes and a variety of lubes on hand.

Pro-tip! Condoms can be used on sex toys as well as penises! You can also pre-assign pleasure products to each partner. Strive to minimize accidental fluid transmission so that the only souvenirs you bring home are your x-rated memories.


 

F. Get into Gear


Incorporating pleasure products into a three-way is a sexy way to help keep everyone is in the zone. Get everyone in sync with multiple wireless intimate massagers. If you get two from the same brand, it’s possible to control them both with a single remote. Keep an external stimulator within reach for anyone that needs to take it up a notch

If you are going to incorporate multiple wireless remote vibrators with a single remote, try using different color bullets so everyone knows which one is theirs. It’ll keep the good vibes going because you won’t have to stop to sanitize them (punintended :-p).


An awesome threesome can be one of the most exciting erotic adventures. If you chart your course well, you might find your regular sex-life to be hotter, your connection with your partner deeper, your sense-of-self revitalized and your sensual empathy at an all-time high. Don’t short-cut on this one – it's worth taking the long route.


 




 


Shop Trio-Enhancing Pleasure Products Now! 


External VibratorProstate MassagerBasic Wireless Remote MassagerWireless Remote Vibrator