Sex Magick 101
Sexual energy is life energy. It’s the energy of creation, of the ever-expanding universe around us. When we tap into our pleasure as a mystical force and add some intention to it, we can work with our sexual energy in a new way. Instead of just feeling alive and delicious, we’re able to use our orgasms to manifest, turning sex from the mundane into magick. Magick itself is energy + action + intention; we perform an action around a specific intention and raise energy to send to our chosen desire.
In the context of sex magick, this means using sex and foreplay as a way to raise energy to release at climax or orgasm for a specific purpose or intention. In eastern traditions this is called tantra, and though the process of raising energy may be different, the end result is the same; sexual energy raised and released to help our desires manifest IRL! Though it takes some practice, this is an easy and potent way to add some extra power to your sex life, or your magical/ spiritual practice.
It’s all about intention, breath and connection
When we’re having sex, or solo-sex, without the context of magick, our minds may be all over the place. What we look like, how we feel, what our partner is doing, what we’re doing once we’re done, the faces we’re making…etc. Sex magick asks us to step out of our monkey mind, and into our bodies and a singular focus. While we feel the pleasure in our bodies, our minds are focused on the intention. We use breath and movement to heighten sensations and raise energy, so by the time we climax we are really energized and focused on what we want to call in. As you come, you focus on this intention, releasing it into the universe in all its glory.
How to work with sex magick
Sex magick is a ritual. Rituals are the language of the subconscious; repetitive actions that connect us to something larger than ourselves. Instead of just making out, fooling around, having sex and being done, sex magick calls us to step into our erotic power in a more grounded way. By setting your intention, setting up the space, and raising erotic energy for your specific desire, you’ll be owning your own form of sex magick in no time.
Step 1. Figure out if this is solo-sex or sex with a partner
You can practice sex magick alone or with a partner. If you’re practicing with a partner, communication is key. You’ll be raising sacred energy together and will want to be in the same boat. You’ll also want to work on an intention together, step 2, and remember to communicate anything you want to happen during the ritual.
Step 2. Set your intention
What are you wanting to manifest? A job? Money? A new relationship? A release from old patterns? Whatever it is, get clear with it. Write it down as specifically as possible, remembering to breathe and check in with your gut and body to see how they feel as you claim what you want. Many of us have resistance to asking for what we want because we feel like we’re unworthy of it. Trust your intuition and let it guide you in what you want to call in.
Step 3. Set up the scene
Setting the scene is going to help you get in the mood, both literally and figuratively. How can you transform your space into a sex magick oasis? Think of your senses; can you light some candles? Burn some incense? Get out some fresh, nice sheets? Maybe you have some chocolate, or put on your favorite sexy soundtrack. If you’re doing this practice with a partner, remember to communicate and see what makes you both feel good and at home in your bodies. This experience should feel delicious and pleasurable in as many ways possible! Put your phone off, let any roommates know not to disturb you, take care of any pets, and do whatever you have to do to be totally and completely present.
Step 4. Ask yourself what you need to be in the mood
Does wearing a red silk lingerie set get you in the mood? Maybe you need some spankings from your partner, or some light self-massage. Whatever it is, check in with yourself or your partner and see what you can do to really get you feeling sexy and present and sacred. If you have to dance it out, dance it out! If you have to take a shower or ritual bath, do that. Again, there’s no wrong way to practice, as long as you listen to yourself and your needs.
Step 5. Time to get sexy
Now cums the fun (see what I did there?) The magick! Make yourself comfortable, start to feel sexy, get undressed, do what you have to do. And then whether you’re alone, or with a partner, start to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. If you’re with a partner, you’ll want to be breathing on the same rhythm. Continue to breathe this way, feeling your belly fill with air and exhaling with noise. Let whatever noise comes out; a growl, or a moan, or an AHHHHH. It’s all fine- this helps get the energy flowing! Now start to think of your intention. You’ll be holding this in your mind up until after you climax so get it as clear as possible. Continue to breathe, while holding this desire in mind, and then start to bring touch into it. If you’re alone you can start to use a toy or your hand, or you can start to touch your partner. The goal is to orgasm, or come as close to orgasm as possible, while remaining in tune with your body and while holding your intention in mind. You can come close to orgasm and then back away (also known as edging), continuing to breathe so when you do decide to orgasm it’s even more potent.
Step 6. Let it out
Once you feel like you’re about to come, or your partner is, hold your intention in your third eye (between your eyebrows.) As you come, release your intention in the universe by imagining a beam of white light from the base of your spine, moving up your spine carrying your intention out from the crown of your head into the cosmos. If you’re with a partner, you can imagine both of your energies starting at the base of your spine, spiraling up through your spine, out the roof of your head, into the cosmos. Hold your intention for as long as you can (remember to breathe!) and then release it! If you and your partner come at different times, you can repeat this visualization twice.
Step 7. Honor it
Once you’ve finished with the sex magick part, take a second to breathe. You can press your forehead into the earth, imagining any excess energy finding its way back into the ground. Drink some water, eat some food, stretch your body. Now it’s time to reflect. Did any feelings come up? Any unexpected reactions? Honor this! It’s totally okay to feel more than usual when working with energy in this way. Record anything that you noticed, and know that what you wish for is coming true. You can also create an altar for your intention, placing objects like photos, candles, offerings of fruit or sweets or liquors, crystals, tarot cards, favorite sex toys or whatever else here as a way to help visualize your intentions even farther.
You can repeat this process or ritual as often as you need, incorporating mindfulness into your sex life as often as you want. Your erotic power isn’t ever something to be ashamed of. My hope is that this practice allows you to wield this power to manifest whatever it is you want. May you never underestimate yourself and your strength, and so it is!