Masturbation is the best; it feels good, it’s good for you, and you can even use your orgasms to cast spells. What’s not to love? But like lovers, there’s an endless possibility of ways and reasons you may want to do or not do something a certain way. Sometimes you may want to do you quick and dirty. That’s hot. But sometimes you may wish to slow it down and add some meaning and intention to your self-love session. Also hot! And rather witchy, if we do say so ourselves. Sex magick, or raising sexual energy/ orgasm to send to a desired purpose or intention, has been used by yogis, Pagans, occultists and pervs worldwide as a way to harness energy, heal, honor, transcend and create. Even if we’re not going to perform a whole sex magick ritual, we can take cues from these esoteric practices that offer us wisdom for connecting more deeply with our bodies. Inspired by erotic rituals, we’ve rounded up 8 ways to make your next masturbation session more magical.
Set the scene
Before you begin, take the time to make the setting right. Think of what makes you feel comfortable, warm and safe. Make sure any pets are taken care of, light some candles and incense, dim the lights, put some music on. Make a playlist of sexy songs and put it on repeat. Think of how you can involve each of your senses. Put some nice sheets on your bed, open a window, do what you have to do to inspire yourself and put yourself in the mood. And don’t forget to grab whatever toys you need; whether you’re more into wands (like the Bthrilled Classic) or rabbits (like the Bwild Classic Marine), get your weapon of choice and some lube and set the vibe.
Set an intention
As mentioned above, we can masturbate and send our orgasms to an intention that we want to manifest. So naturally, we must pick an intention for this to happen. You may think of something like an amount of money, or a travel opportunity, or a kind of lover that you want to attract. You may wish to connect more deeply with your body, with something you’re processing or to your sexuality. Whatever your intention it is, get clear on it and trust that whatever will manifest is for your highest good and in your highest favor.
Slip into something that makes you feel sexy
For you to really connect with your intention, you have to believe it. You have to know you deserve it, whatever it is. And to really get the most benefit you can from sex magick, you want to feel pleasure coursing through every inch of your body. Think of picking out and putting on lingerie (which can be anything from a thong, to a bodysuit, to boxer briefs) as personal foreplay. You’re getting yourself in the mood! The name of this game is self-seduction and I urge you to play. Try red lingerie, or black lace. Wear something that makes you feel powerful, confident, magical, like the Empress you are. It’s okay to take baby steps, to start with something small before you can wear something that you really feel sexy in, and that’s okay! Spritz on some perfume, put on some red lipstick, wear your “come fuck me heels” and remember that “sexy” is whatever you make of it.
Work with your breath
Your breath is your best friend. If you want to take your time and enjoy your masturbation session, remember to breathe! We often hold our breaths to climax quicker, and we also tend to hold our breaths when we’re anxious, disconnected or in a rush. Consciously breathing into your body can help you counteract this. When you’re masturbating, simply noticing and reconnecting to the breath is enough. But if you wish to try a simple breathing technique, you can try taking a deep breathe in through your nose, filling your air with belly as you inhale deeply from your stomach. Exhale through your mouth, feeling your stomach deflate. Start with four seconds for each inhale and exhale, and then slow that down when you feel comfortable. You may also wish to inhale and exhale through the nose. Notice how your breath can help you ride out the waves of pleasure more. It helps us deepen our presence and our relationship to our bodies; it’s magick!
Heighten your senses
If you’re kinky or at all interested in exploring kink in some way, working with your senses is a good way to start. You can heighten your senses using sensory deprivation and by working with different sensations. You can do this by blindfolding yourself, rubbing flowers or feathers against naked skin, using ice cubes, body safe candles and dripping the wax on you, or by using things like rope or bondage tape. You may also wish to explore impact play like spanking to help raise energy and build intensity. Working with your breath and exhaling to move through intense sensations can bring things to new heights, so don’t knock it until you try it. But please remember to be risk aware with whatever you try!
Give yourself time
Along with not breathing, many of us rush through our masturbation sessions. So though it sounds like a simple task, giving yourself time to masturbate may feel kind of off or unusual. Many of us are used to hitting the spot and heading to the next thing that we don’t even realize what it means to slow down. But when we take the time to really connect with what we’re doing, when we take the time to connect to our bodies, when we take the time to focus on our intention, we can really take our self-love rituals to the next level. Give yourself enough time to get in the mood and enjoy the process. Take the time to explore your body, go slow, really ride the ride. And then when the time comes to pop off, you’ll have raised as much energy as possible.
Channel your climax
Once you’ve raised the energy all you can, and you’re ready to orgasm, reconnect with your breath and your intention. Feel into this, light a light reaching every corner of your body and expanding beyond. As you climax, send your intention out through the crown of your head in a stream of white light that connects to the heavens above you. This energy is moving from the base of your spine, up your spine and out the top of your head to connect with the cosmos and bring your intention to the physical. You can continue directing your energy to this when you’re done masturbating, in the afterglow. Feel your intention in your body, moving towards the light, and continue sending your energy there. Know this is for your highest good and thank the universe for helping support you.
Write it down
Lastly, you may wish to keep a sex journal a la Anais Nin as a way to record your intentions, what feels good and anything sexy your mind whips up. If you continue deepening your relationship with sex magick, this will be a helpful way to see what manifests and transpires with your intentions and what doesn’t. This can serve as a valuable way to keep track of how you’re feeling emotionally and sexually in your body as well!