No woman that’s grateful for the invention of the vibrator needs to be told why she loves hers. Vibrators have allowed millions of women to better get to know their bodies and learn how to bring themselves to orgasm. Knowledge like that doesn’t just help us learn to love and understand our own bodies either. It helps us help you show us a good time during partnered sex as well.


That said, there are two types of guys out there in the world. Some are supportive and maybe even excited to find out their girlfriend or wife owns and uses a vibrator. Others feel intimidated, jealous, or even angry. If your guy is the latter, we’re here to help. We’ll go over why he feels the way he does, as well as cover what you can do about it.


He’s Intimidated  
Lots of guys react to a woman’s vibrator with feelings of intimidation, which is really pretty understandable. Naturally, your guy is really into you and loves pleasing you in bed. The idea of having to compete with something bigger and longer lasting than he can be a blow to his self-esteem.  What if you decide you prefer a luxury sex toy to his flesh and blood equipment? Where does that leave him? If that sounds like your man, soothe his fears by assuring him that your vibrator is not a substitute for the real thing by any stretch of the imagination. Explain to him that you masturbate when he’s not around or available, just as he does when you’re not around. Your vibrator is simply a part of how you enjoy pleasuring yourself. If necessary, explain to him how common use of a vibrator really is. Statistically speaking, roughly 50% of all people have used one at one time or another, so it’s definitely a very normal thing.


He’s Jealous
Less easy to deal with is the guy who responds to the discovery of your vibrator with jealousy. If that sounds like your man, it’s likely that he just needs to be included in the fun occasionally. Explain to him that your vibrator is simply a toy, something that is absolutely not a substitute for him. If you can, you should also gently use the situation as an opportunity to help him better understand himself, his feelings, and his reasons for them. Be kind and considerate and he’ll come around.


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Get Him Involved 
Regardless of how your man initially reacted to the existence of your vibrator, this is an excellent opportunity to introduce him to the exciting world of sex toys and suggest a little couples play involving your existing vibrator or any other sex toy the two of you might be interested in. If he’s game, the following are some great ways to get into the idea of using toys together.


Let Him Watch -  If your guy is like most, he loves nothing more than a private show for his eyes only. The next time you decide to treat him to one, get your vibrator involved. Show him how you like to pleasure yourself with your toys. Invite him to participate if he’d like. Make sure he knows how much it turns you on when the two of you play together like this. If your guy is the type that loves the idea of catching you pleasuring yourself, you can simply make sure he does exactly that the next time you feel the urge. Then invite him to sit down and watch or lend a hand – whichever he prefers.


Turn Him On - It’s a common misconception that vibrators are for women and women only. Vibrators are made to stimulate nerve endings, which all of us have, so they can certainly be used to take a man to new heights of pleasure. That said, if you think your man would be game, ask if you can share your toy with him the next time the two of you are ready to get down and dirty. You don’t have to penetrate him with a vibrating dildo (unless that’s something he’s into). Start small by using your vibe to stimulate the head of his penis, his shaft, or his scrotum. You can also introduce him to vibrating cock rings. Encourage him to tell you what feels good and/or ask for what he’d like. Tell him how much you like making him feel good and then invite him to return the favor. When you’re done, you can even encourage him to borrow your vibrator the next time he needs a little alone time with himself. Show him how willing you are to share your toys!


Couples play is an excellent way to show your man that your vibrator isn’t a replacement for him by showing him how you actually use it. It’s simply another way to heighten sensual pleasure, either by yourself or with a partner. Once he sees that, his negative feelings about your vibrator are likely to dissipate.


Go Shopping Together 
If the two of you decide you like using sex toys together as a couple, you might want to consider expanding your horizons at some point. Today’s vibrators are far from one-size-fits-all. There are phallus-shaped vibrators and magic bullets. There are specially shaped vibrators designed especially for couples to use during penetrative intercourse . There are even remote controlled vibrators that can allow you both to pleasure each other at a distance.  Arrange some time to sit down together and shop for new sex toys. Talk about the kinds of items you’d like to use at the same time as a couple, on each other, or separately while you’re apart. Not only can that be a unique bonding experience that will bring you closer together, but it can be a great way to inject new energy into your sex life or spice things up in an exciting new way.


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