Tips

  1. What Is My Kink?

    What Is My Kink?

    WHAT'S MY KINK?

    It seems every person on the planet has some kind of Kink that they're either interested in trying or desperate to keep doing. Having a special kind of consensual sexual interaction that you like the most does not make you a freak, at least not anymore. Where I live in LA, entire communities of kinky people get together under a common interest, and many of those interests are not exactly mainstream. It got me thinking. What is my Kink? I'm an open-minded lady. I'm tolerant, I'm accepting, I open my arms to all kinds. So why don't I have a kink? I went on a hunt to figure it out.

    WHAT IS A KINK?

    Since I'm no sex-meister, I referred to Los Angeles based marriage family and sex therapist Liz Selzer-Lang, LMFT, for a professional explanation. She explained that in the professional world they don't refer to someone as having a kink:

    "Kink is a broad, umbrella term that describes many forms

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  2. Sex & the City & the Quarantine

    Sex & the City & the Quarantine

    Sex & the City & the Quarantine: What We’ve Learned About Ourselves in Isolation

    It’s now January 2021, and, just like that, the United States has been in some semblance of quarantine for almost a year now. Workplaces have gone remote, masks have become a trendy fashion statement, class is now in session via Zoom, and the landscape surrounding sex and dating has changed dramatically. I couldn’t help but wonder - during a year in isolation, how have we grown in our relationships with our partners and with ourselves? How have we gotten acclimated to the “new normal” in ways we might not have even noticed in regards to our dating and sex lives? How have we become closer with our bodies and ourselves during this time of forced solitude?

    Here are a few of the lessons we’ve learned about ourselves and our bodies (and our libidos) during a year-long quarantine period:

    ● The saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder” couldn’t be more true.

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  3. Sexual Anxiety: We Shall Overcum!

    Sexual Anxiety: We Shall Overcum!

     

    Lots of people have experienced sexual anxiety. Feeling anxious about our sex skills is totally normal, but it can really ruin a horny moment when it happens more than not

    I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and I’ve learned in therapy that anxiety is a future-oriented emotion. The majority of my anxiety comes from future-tripping – what if they have a terrible time? Maybe they think I’m too loose! I forgot to shave. They’re gonna leave me!

    Because of these anxious thoughts, I try to stay present when it comes to sex and not focus on a particular outcome. What can I say? I wasn’t born knowing how to bang.

    Sexual anxiety is something that people of all ages deal with, even if they consider themselves a sexual dynamo. Sometimes, this type of anxiety can be situational and pop up because of a new sexual encounter. Other people might find it hard to have great sex on a regular basis because they have an anxiety disorder. Oh hello!

     

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  4. How Streaming Services Are Starting TV Sex Revolution

    How Streaming Services Are Starting TV Sex Revolution

    Tension and Intention:

    How Streaming Services and Intimacy Coordinators Are Changing The Sex We See on TV

    Long before America had access to the internet, online porn, and OnlyFans, it focused its censorship efforts on everything except gratuitous violence.

    Mainstream television, under pressure from various conservative organizations and lobbyists, held pretty fast to the notion that protecting a woman from her sexuality extended to suggestions of just-starting or just-finished coitus, and hiding everything below her collar bone under a suspiciously L-shaped bed sheet. If people were having wild, unadulterated sex they certainly didn’t want their audiences knowing about it. While we are still behind in showing full-spectrum representation and honest depictions of sex and sexuality on television, streaming services have begun to open the gates. Season 2 of Pose brought us the v

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  5. Rise of The Sexual Goddess: A Guide to Your Yoni

    Rise of The Sexual Goddess: A Guide to Your Yoni
    When's the last time you touched your vagina? And I mean really touched her? To point where you know every flap, dip, and curve in her? How about the last time you touched your breasts? Was it in a way that made you feel empowered? Like a queen? Like a goddess? If you've never felt this way while caressing your temple, first of all, yes it is possible. And second, it isn't your fault.
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  6. Don’t Touch My Hair...Unless I Tell You To

    Don’t Touch My Hair...Unless I Tell You To
    Hey--is my mic on? Good; I have a few things to get off my chest. To the surprise of literally no one, 2020 started ugly and it only got uglier. It’s been more than rough for everyone. This year didn’t stop at a global health pandemic and losing some of our most beloved icons; it threw in an extra helping of crazy ahhh weather too. It’s been ghastly, but like sex, life requires patience. Let’s all collectively breathe and agree to look at this from a different angle.
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  7. Radical Self-Care

    A Black woman with a hopeful expression and closed eyes breathes deeply in an outdoor setting.
    To take care of others, you must first take care of yourself. But what does "self-care" look like in the face of protest and social unrest? Erika E. Wade shares her personal story of how self-care has transformed from an indulgent buzz word into something more meaningful during the Black Lives Matter global uprisings of 2020.
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  8. I’m 28 and Just Learned What a Real Orgasm Is

    a woman lies on the bed looking satisfied and happy

    By Erika E. Wade

    This is gonna be sad, but I believe I’m having a crisis. What if sex hasn’t led to orgasms for me in the past. What if I was so good at faking it, I fooled myself? At this age, and with the amount of sex toys I have, I’m realizing having an orgasm during sex is, well, hard. Now I know what my Big O feels like, I’m going for it at all costs. Maybe you can too.

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  9. Breathe It: How to Incorporate Breathwork into Sex

    woman lounges in an armchair breathing deeply

    By Gabriela Herstik

    Our breath is our personal connection to the life-force energy inside us, but for many of us, we don’t notice our breath until it’s gone. In sex, this is especially important, and our breath can form a bridge between us and our partner or ourselves and our pleasure. When we ignore our breath, we are limiting our ability to feel, to express, and to connect; holding our breath limits our ability to feel into our body. By incorporating breathwork into sex and masturbation, we can form more purposeful connections to our partners and dive even deeper into our pleasure, while getting out of our heads and into the moment. In this post, Gabriela shares a handful of simple breathing techniques we can use before, during or after sex to connect more deeply to our erotic experience. This will include some tantric breathwork, as well as simple two, three and four part breaths that help to guide us into the present.
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  10. An Intro to Lesbian Sex: Next Level Intimacy

    An Intro to Lesbian Sex

    By Jessica Buck

    Provided consent is in place, taking your intimacy with someone to the next level means opening up a vulnerability that coincides with pleasure. We learn how to navigate this vulnerability with practice, but your first few times can be awkward and confusing, especially if you've received little to no true education on the physical and emotional logistics of "how to have sex." Let’s change that with a walk through of the basics of lesbian sex, because vulva on vulva action is worth the deep dive and frankly, it's the tits (pun intended).
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