WHAT'S MY KINK?
It seems every person on the planet has some kind of Kink that they're either interested in trying or desperate to keep doing. Having a special kind of consensual sexual interaction that you like the most does not make you a freak, at least not anymore. Where I live in LA, entire communities of kinky people get together under a common interest, and many of those interests are not exactly mainstream. It got me thinking. What is my Kink? I'm an open-minded lady. I'm tolerant, I'm accepting, I open my arms to all kinds. So why don't I have a kink? I went on a hunt to figure it out.
WHAT IS A KINK?
Since I'm no sex-meister, I referred to Los Angeles based marriage family and sex therapist Liz Selzer-Lang, LMFT, for a professional explanation. She explained that in the professional world they don't refer to someone as having a kink:
"Kink is a broad, umbrella term that describes many forms
Sex & the City & the Quarantine: What We’ve Learned About Ourselves in Isolation
It’s now January 2021, and, just like that, the United States has been in some semblance of quarantine for almost a year now. Workplaces have gone remote, masks have become a trendy fashion statement, class is now in session via Zoom, and the landscape surrounding sex and dating has changed dramatically. I couldn’t help but wonder - during a year in isolation, how have we grown in our relationships with our partners and with ourselves? How have we gotten acclimated to the “new normal” in ways we might not have even noticed in regards to our dating and sex lives? How have we become closer with our bodies and ourselves during this time of forced solitude?
Here are a few of the lessons we’ve learned about ourselves and our bodies (and our libidos) during a year-long quarantine period:
● The saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder” couldn’t be more true.
Lots of people have experienced sexual anxiety. Feeling anxious about our sex skills is totally normal, but it can really ruin a horny moment when it happens more than not
I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and I’ve learned in therapy that anxiety is a future-oriented emotion. The majority of my anxiety comes from future-tripping – what if they have a terrible time? Maybe they think I’m too loose! I forgot to shave. They’re gonna leave me!
Because of these anxious thoughts, I try to stay present when it comes to sex and not focus on a particular outcome. What can I say? I wasn’t born knowing how to bang.
Sexual anxiety is something that people of all ages deal with, even if they consider themselves a sexual dynamo. Sometimes, this type of anxiety can be situational and pop up because of a new sexual encounter. Other people might find it hard to have great sex on a regular basis because they have an anxiety disorder. Oh hello!
Tension and Intention:
How Streaming Services and Intimacy Coordinators Are Changing The Sex We See on TV
Long before America had access to the internet, online porn, and OnlyFans, it focused its censorship efforts on everything except gratuitous violence.
Mainstream television, under pressure from various conservative organizations and lobbyists, held pretty fast to the notion that protecting a woman from her sexuality extended to suggestions of just-starting or just-finished coitus, and hiding everything below her collar bone under a suspiciously L-shaped bed sheet. If people were having wild, unadulterated sex they certainly didn’t want their audiences knowing about it. While we are still behind in showing full-spectrum representation and honest depictions of sex and sexuality on television, streaming services have begun to open the gates. Season 2 of Pose brought us the v
This is gonna be sad, but I believe I’m having a crisis. What if sex hasn’t led to orgasms for me in the past. What if I was so good at faking it, I fooled myself? At this age, and with the amount of sex toys I have, I’m realizing having an orgasm during sex is, well, hard. Now I know what my Big O feels like, I’m going for it at all costs. Maybe you can too.
