Personal Story

  1. What Is My Kink?

    What Is My Kink?


    It seems every person on the planet has some kind of Kink that they're either interested in trying or desperate to keep doing. Having a special kind of consensual sexual interaction that you like the most does not make you a freak, at least not anymore. Where I live in LA, entire communities of kinky people get together under a common interest, and many of those interests are not exactly mainstream. It got me thinking. What is my Kink? I'm an open-minded lady. I'm tolerant, I'm accepting, I open my arms to all kinds. So why don't I have a kink? I went on a hunt to figure it out.


    Since I'm no sex-meister, I referred to Los Angeles based marriage family and sex therapist Liz Selzer-Lang, LMFT, for a professional explanation. She explained that in the professional world they don't refer to someone as having a kink:

    "Kink is a broad, umbrella term that describes many forms of sexual fantasy, erotic expressions, and identities which may involve sexual AND/OR psychological role-playing, bondage and discipline, sadomasochism, and other interpersonal dynamics."

    Well, discovering a kink or kinky behavior isn't so easy. I realized as unprejudiced as I am, I'm going to have to get over various social taboos and personal hang-ups, and to do that, I have to educate myself on what's out there. What are the options?


    According to Selzer-Lang, a popular kink or kink dynamic usually involves a power exchange. And after scrolling Reddit and other popular sites she's right on, but lawd there are so many! How will I ever find mine? I had to narrow them down to the ones that kept popping up.

    AGE PLAY :Young girl and an old guy or young guy old gal. I did sleep with a 26-year-old when I was 34 but don't think that counts. Definitely gonna try this one.


    Read more »
  2. Radical Self-Care

    A Black woman with a hopeful expression and closed eyes breathes deeply in an outdoor setting.

    To take care of others, you must first take care of yourself. But what does "self-care" look like in the face of protest and social unrest? Erika E. Wade shares her personal story of how self-care has transformed from an indulgent buzz word into something more meaningful during the Black Lives Matter global uprisings of 2020.

    Read more »
  3. I’m 28 and Just Learned What a Real Orgasm Is

    a woman lies on the bed looking satisfied and happy

    By Erika E. Wade

    This is gonna be sad, but I believe I’m having a crisis. What if sex hasn’t led to orgasms for me in the past. What if I was so good at faking it, I fooled myself? At this age, and with the amount of sex toys I have, I’m realizing having an orgasm during sex is, well, hard. Now I know what my Big O feels like, I’m going for it at all costs. Maybe you can too.

    Read more »
  4. Black Girls Masturbate

    woman in bed wearing a black bra smiling looking content and satisfied

    By Erika E. Wade

    Growing up black in America is tough, especially when everyone but your own cultural group tells you how to do it. Apparently, it’s even more taboo for black women to touch themselves. Well, I’m Erika. I’m a black woman from Alabama, and I touch myself. And it feels really good.
    Read more »
  5. Re-evaluating My Sexuality

    a person with their head propped up on their hand smiles in an intimate setting

    By Jessica Buck

    For as long as I can remember, I've found myself attracted to both men and women. When I was in school, there would be people that I felt gravitated to – first by their looks, like "wow, they are so pretty/cute, I want to get to know them." Then, it was their personality. Wanting to continue to get to know them and hope they thought I was as interesting/cool as I thought they were. At some point it would simply turn into a platonic friendship, mainly because I was young and didn't know what to do when you really liked someone – thinking it wasn't reciprocated – and thus starting a consistent cycle of suppressing feelings for fear of rejection.

    Read more »
  6. Reading Erotica: A Personal Essay

    a book is held open between two legs wearing tall stockings on a bed

    By Jessica Buck

    When I started masturbating, all I knew was channel 3 after 10 pm. But when my great aunt passed and we got a bunch of her stuff, I discovered my aunts love for a classic erotic novels. It was a new world for me and I loved it because I already loved reading in general. I'd sneak and read chapters late at night and hid the books under my mattress. THEN when I got a computer in my room, I discovered erotic stories on Xanga, a platform I used to frequently blog. This was my mid-day porn when I couldn't watch Channel 3 or be caught with an erotic novel in my hands. And thus shaped my Freshman-Senior summers of curiosity.

    Read more »
  7. I was a Fuckboy Magnet

    I was a Fuckboy Magnet

    By Erika E. Wade

    Sometimes your love life is a sitcom because you're actually a walking magnet for broken, emotionally unavailable, and non-committal partners. Or, sometimes you could secretly be giving off the vibes of a someone in need of a reminder of their own beauty and power. Here are some tips to help you get over him, and so into you.

    Read more »
  8. What I Learned from Becoming My Own Lover

    What I Learned from Becoming My Own Lover

    By Gabriela Herstik

    ✨Masturbation Month Special✨If there’s one thing that I learned about sex in 2018, it’s that you’re responsible for your own pleasure. And, that you’re the best lover you’ll ever have. When I decided to enter into a relationship with myself, I put my own pleasure as priority. My solo sex sessions turned into rituals and my exploration of the erotic, BDSM and sex took a forefront in my life. When I became my own lover, I decided to figure out how to give myself the love I wanted, instead of looking for it outside of myself. This is what I learned, and why everyone should embark on a journey of intentional self-relationship.

    Read more »
  9. Mortified: My Mother Found My Vibrator and I’m Still Embarrassed 10 Years Later

    Mortified: My Mother Found My Vibrator and I’m Still Embarrassed 10 Years Later

    By Jessica Buck

    This is a story about a girl and her vibrator. Together, they are the two leading ladies in an embarrassing shit show.

    Read more »
  10. I Tried a Wand Vibrator for the First Time and This is What Happened

    I Tried a Wand Vibrator for the First Time and This is What Happened

    By Gabriela Herstik

    I’ve used plenty of sex toys in my day, but I have managed to go nearly 25 years without ever trying a wand style vibrator. As someone who loves an orgasm, I just couldn’t let myself pass up the opportunity to try one for myself. And when I realized B Swish has a wand style vibe for just $40, there was no way I couldn’t try it. So, I put it to the test and all I can say is…wow..

    Read more »