Masturbation

There's a reason booty play is all the rage with sex educators and pleasure enthusiasts as of late. Plenty of folks have been experimenting with back door stimulation for ages, of course, but this ultra-pleasurable play mode is just now losing its unfairly taboo status. If you're floundering around the wide world of sex toys, wondering which butt plugs, vibrators, or prostate stimulators are right for your bum, let the B Swish sexperts guide you. We've compiled a must-have list of the most comfortable, safe, and stimulating anal pleasure products for novices, intermediate, and advanced bedroom explorers.

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WHAT'S MY KINK?

It seems every person on the planet has some kind of Kink that they're either interested in trying or desperate to keep doing. Having a special kind of consensual sexual interaction that you like the most does not make you a freak, at least not anymore. Where I live in LA, entire communities of kinky people get together under a common interest, and many of those interests are not exactly mainstream. It got me thinking. What is my Kink? I'm an open-minded lady. I'm tolerant, I'm accepting, I open my arms to all kinds. So why don't I have a kink? I went on a hunt to figure it out.

WHAT IS A KINK?

Since I'm no sex-meister, I referred to Los Angeles based marriage family and sex therapist Liz Selzer-Lang, LMFT, for a professional explanation. She explained that in the professional world they don't refer to someone as having a kink:

"Kink is a broad, umbrella term that describes many forms of sexual fantasy, erotic expressions, and identities which may involve sexual AND/OR psychological role-playing, bondage and discipline, sadomasochism, and other interpersonal dynamics."

Well, discovering a kink or kinky behavior isn't so easy. I realized as unprejudiced as I am, I'm going to have to get over various social taboos and personal hang-ups, and to do that, I have to educate myself on what's out there. What are the options?

WHAT ARE POPULAR KINKS?

According to Selzer-Lang, a popular kink or kink dynamic usually involves a power exchange. And after scrolling Reddit and other popular sites she's right on, but lawd there are so many! How will I ever find mine? I had to narrow them down to the ones that kept popping up.

AGE PLAY :Young girl and an old guy or young guy old gal. I did sleep with a 26-year-old when I was 34 but don't think that counts. Definitely gonna try this one.

ROLE PLAY: 

Sex & the City & the Quarantine: What We’ve Learned About Ourselves in Isolation

It’s now January 2021, and, just like that, the United States has been in some semblance of quarantine for almost a year now. Workplaces have gone remote, masks have become a trendy fashion statement, class is now in session via Zoom, and the landscape surrounding sex and dating has changed dramatically. I couldn’t help but wonder - during a year in isolation, how have we grown in our relationships with our partners and with ourselves? How have we gotten acclimated to the “new normal” in ways we might not have even noticed in regards to our dating and sex lives? How have we become closer with our bodies and ourselves during this time of forced solitude?

Here are a few of the lessons we’ve learned about ourselves and our bodies (and our libidos) during a year-long quarantine period:

● The saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder” couldn’t be more true.

Some of us may live with our partners, while some of us may live separately from them - and some of us may not be partnered up at all. Regardless, our absence (or lack thereof) from these people can skew our emotions and have us romanticizing (or dreading) certain relationships in our lives. Regardless, the old adage is true - absence makes the heart grow fonder - and quarantine surely has taught us a lot about the need for alone time. It’s healthy to have some time allotted in your day for self-care, even if you’re in a relationship.

● Communication is key.

The pandemic has changed the way we communicate with those who are significant to us. Screen time has become a substitute for face-to-face interaction, and body language and facial expressions have changed greatly with the advent of masks. Now more than ever, in all facets of our life - whether it be work, school, our social life, or the bedroom - we must communicate our wants and needs thoro

Tension and Intention:

How Streaming Services and Intimacy Coordinators Are Changing The Sex We See on TV

Long before America had access to the internet, online porn, and OnlyFans, it focused its censorship efforts on everything except gratuitous violence.

Mainstream television, under pressure from various conservative organizations and lobbyists, held pretty fast to the notion that protecting a woman from her sexuality extended to suggestions of just-starting or just-finished coitus, and hiding everything below her collar bone under a suspiciously L-shaped bed sheet. If people were having wild, unadulterated sex they certainly didn’t want their audiences knowing about it. While we are still behind in showing full-spectrum representation and honest depictions of sex and sexuality on television, streaming services have begun to open the gates. Season 2 of Pose brought us the very moving lovemaking scene between Pray Tell (Billy Porter) and Ricky Wintour (Dyllón Burnside), two gay Black men living with HIV.

After it aired and sparked a dialogue about representation in television, Porter told The Hollywood Reporter, “That's what I love so much about television — because of multiple episodes, multiple hours, we get to see characters evolve and grow and live in a more real-time fashion.” Pose, originally owned by cable TV network FX, also streams on Netflix.

Another network that has chosen to evolve and grow and live in a more real-time fashion is HBO, which released I May Destroy You in June of 2020. The show is created, written, co-directed, and executive produced by Michaela Coel, who also plays up-and-coming writer Arabella Essiedu.

During a scene where Arabella and her date—Biagio—begin hooking up,

By Erika E. Wade

This is gonna be sad, but I believe I’m having a crisis. What if sex hasn’t led to orgasms for me in the past. What if I was so good at faking it, I fooled myself? At this age, and with the amount of sex toys I have, I’m realizing having an orgasm during sex is, well, hard. Now I know what my Big O feels like, I’m going for it at all costs. Maybe you can too.

By Gabriela Herstik

Our breath is our personal connection to the life-force energy inside us, but for many of us, we don’t notice our breath until it’s gone. In sex, this is especially important, and our breath can form a bridge between us and our partner or ourselves and our pleasure. When we ignore our breath, we are limiting our ability to feel, to express, and to connect; holding our breath limits our ability to feel into our body. By incorporating breathwork into sex and masturbation, we can form more purposeful connections to our partners and dive even deeper into our pleasure, while getting out of our heads and into the moment. In this post, Gabriela shares a handful of simple breathing techniques we can use before, during or after sex to connect more deeply to our erotic experience. This will include some tantric breathwork, as well as simple two, three and four part breaths that help to guide us into the present.

By Erika E. Wade

Growing up black in America is tough, especially when everyone but your own cultural group tells you how to do it. Apparently, it’s even more taboo for black women to touch themselves. Well, I’m Erika. I’m a black woman from Alabama, and I touch myself. And it feels really good.

By Jessica Buck

When I started masturbating, all I knew was channel 3 after 10 pm. But when my great aunt passed and we got a bunch of her stuff, I discovered my aunts love for a classic erotic novels. It was a new world for me and I loved it because I already loved reading in general. I'd sneak and read chapters late at night and hid the books under my mattress. THEN when I got a computer in my room, I discovered erotic stories on Xanga, a platform I used to frequently blog. This was my mid-day porn when I couldn't watch Channel 3 or be caught with an erotic novel in my hands. And thus shaped my Freshman-Senior summers of curiosity.

By Gabriela Herstik

✨Masturbation Month Special✨Masturbation is the best; it feels good, it’s good for you, and you can even use your orgasms to cast spells. What’s not to love? But like lovers, there’s an endless possibility of ways and reasons you may want to do or not do something a certain way. Sometimes you may want to do you quick and dirty. That’s hot. But sometimes you may wish to slow it down and add some meaning and intention to your self-love session. Also hot! And rather witchy, if we do say so ourselves. Sex magick, or raising sexual energy/orgasm to send to a desired purpose or intention, has been used by yogis, Pagans, occultists and pervs worldwide as a way to harness energy, heal, honor, transcend and create. Even if we’re not going to perform a whole sex magick ritual, we can take cues from these esoteric practices that offer us wisdom for connecting more deeply with our bodies. Inspired by erotic rituals, we’ve rounded up 9 ways to make your next masturbation session more magical.