Dating

  1. What Is My Kink?

    What Is My Kink?

    WHAT'S MY KINK?

    It seems every person on the planet has some kind of Kink that they're either interested in trying or desperate to keep doing. Having a special kind of consensual sexual interaction that you like the most does not make you a freak, at least not anymore. Where I live in LA, entire communities of kinky people get together under a common interest, and many of those interests are not exactly mainstream. It got me thinking. What is my Kink? I'm an open-minded lady. I'm tolerant, I'm accepting, I open my arms to all kinds. So why don't I have a kink? I went on a hunt to figure it out.

    WHAT IS A KINK?

    Since I'm no sex-meister, I referred to Los Angeles based marriage family and sex therapist Liz Selzer-Lang, LMFT, for a professional explanation. She explained that in the professional world they don't refer to someone as having a kink:

    "Kink is a broad, umbrella term that describes

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  2. Sex & the City & the Quarantine

    Sex & the City & the Quarantine

    Sex & the City & the Quarantine: What We’ve Learned About Ourselves in Isolation

    It’s now January 2021, and, just like that, the United States has been in some semblance of quarantine for almost a year now. Workplaces have gone remote, masks have become a trendy fashion statement, class is now in session via Zoom, and the landscape surrounding sex and dating has changed dramatically. I couldn’t help but wonder - during a year in isolation, how have we grown in our relationships with our partners and with ourselves? How have we gotten acclimated to the “new normal” in ways we might not have even noticed in regards to our dating and sex lives? How have we become closer with our bodies and ourselves during this time of forced solitude?

    Here are a few of the lessons we’ve learned about ourselves and our bodies (and our libidos) during a year-long quarantine period:

    ● The saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder” couldn’t be more

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  3. Sexual Anxiety: We Shall Overcum!

    Sexual Anxiety: We Shall Overcum!

     

    Lots of people have experienced sexual anxiety. Feeling anxious about our sex skills is totally normal, but it can really ruin a horny moment when it happens more than not

    I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and I’ve learned in therapy that anxiety is a future-oriented emotion. The majority of my anxiety comes from future-tripping – what if they have a terrible time? Maybe they think I’m too loose! I forgot to shave. They’re gonna leave me!

    Because of these anxious thoughts, I try to stay present when it comes to sex and not focus on a particular outcome. What can I say? I wasn’t born knowing how to bang.

    Sexual anxiety is something that people of all ages deal with, even if they consider themselves a sexual dynamo. Sometimes, this type of anxiety can be situational and pop up because of a new sexual encounter. Other people might find it hard to have great sex on a regular basis because they have an anxiety disorder. Oh hello!

     

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  4. How Streaming Services Are Starting TV Sex Revolution

    How Streaming Services Are Starting TV Sex Revolution

    Tension and Intention:

    How Streaming Services and Intimacy Coordinators Are Changing The Sex We See on TV

    Long before America had access to the internet, online porn, and OnlyFans, it focused its censorship efforts on everything except gratuitous violence.

    Mainstream television, under pressure from various conservative organizations and lobbyists, held pretty fast to the notion that protecting a woman from her sexuality extended to suggestions of just-starting or just-finished coitus, and hiding everything below her collar bone under a suspiciously L-shaped bed sheet. If people were having wild, unadulterated sex they certainly didn’t want their audiences knowing about it. While we are still behind in showing full-spectrum representation and honest depictions of sex and sexuality on television, streaming services have begun to open the gates. Season 2

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  5. Rise of The Sexual Goddess: A Guide to Your Yoni

    Rise of The Sexual Goddess: A Guide to Your Yoni
    When's the last time you touched your vagina? And I mean really touched her? To point where you know every flap, dip, and curve in her? How about the last time you touched your breasts? Was it in a way that made you feel empowered? Like a queen? Like a goddess? If you've never felt this way while caressing your temple, first of all, yes it is possible. And second, it isn't your fault.
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  6. Don’t Touch My Hair...Unless I Tell You To

    Don’t Touch My Hair...Unless I Tell You To
    Hey--is my mic on? Good; I have a few things to get off my chest. To the surprise of literally no one, 2020 started ugly and it only got uglier. It’s been more than rough for everyone. This year didn’t stop at a global health pandemic and losing some of our most beloved icons; it threw in an extra helping of crazy ahhh weather too. It’s been ghastly, but like sex, life requires patience. Let’s all collectively breathe and agree to look at this from a different angle.
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  7. I’m 28 and Just Learned What a Real Orgasm Is

    a woman lies on the bed looking satisfied and happy

    By Erika E. Wade

    This is gonna be sad, but I believe I’m having a crisis. What if sex hasn’t led to orgasms for me in the past. What if I was so good at faking it, I fooled myself? At this age, and with the amount of sex toys I have, I’m realizing having an orgasm during sex is, well, hard. Now I know what my Big O feels like, I’m going for it at all costs. Maybe you can too.

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  8. An Intro to Lesbian Sex: Next Level Intimacy

    An Intro to Lesbian Sex

    By Jessica Buck

    Provided consent is in place, taking your intimacy with someone to the next level means opening up a vulnerability that coincides with pleasure. We learn how to navigate this vulnerability with practice, but your first few times can be awkward and confusing, especially if you've received little to no true education on the physical and emotional logistics of "how to have sex." Let’s change that with a walk through of the basics of lesbian sex, because vulva on vulva action is worth the deep dive and frankly, it's the tits (pun intended).
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  9. Protect Your Energy: How to Energetically Cleanse Yourself After Casual Sex

    a person dips into a bath filled with rose petals

    By Gabriela Herstik

    Like everything else, sex is an energy exchange. And for those of us who engage in casual sex, the energy isn’t always exactly what we expect. When we sleep with someone, we form a connection with them, even if it’s for one night; sometimes this connection dissipates, and sometimes it lingers. If we are aware of our subtle body, and the energy system along the base of our spine known as the chakras, then we can make sure that we cleanse and clear the lingering energetic remnants of our sexual partners. In this piece Gabriela Herstik shares some simple techniques for cleansing our auric and energetic bodies after engaging in casual sex. Through breathwork, visualization, and working with tools like sacred smoke and ritual baths, we can make sure that we’re honoring our energy as much as our physical body, and that we’re having the safest sex possible in every realm.

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  10. Why You Should Incorporate Sex Toys into Partnered Sex

    one person embraces another in a bed with rumpled sheets

    By Gabriela Herstik

    Sex should be fun, and while they’re called sex “toys” for a reason, there is still unfortunately plenty of stigma surrounding sexuality and how we enjoy it; whether the stigma is around who we engage with sexually, what we like or how we like to express ourselves. The work of unlearning harmful narratives around shame never stops! And one of the myths that we must unlearn is that liking sex toys, and bringing them into the bedroom, means that you don’t like your partner, or don’t feel like they can satisfy you sexually. The stigma around sex toys in general is extremely harmful; especially when it inhibits you from enjoying yourself during sex. And while it may seem awkward to uncomfortable to ask a partner if you can bring in a vibrator or cock ring to the bedroom, introducing toys into your sex life could be spark you need to reinvigorate your relationship, bring you closer to your partner, or simply make the sex more exciting.

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