Dating

  1. Don’t Touch My Hair...Unless I Tell You To

    Don’t Touch My Hair...Unless I Tell You To
    Hey--is my mic on? Good; I have a few things to get off my chest. To the surprise of literally no one, 2020 started ugly and it only got uglier. It’s been more than rough for everyone. This year didn’t stop at a global health pandemic and losing some of our most beloved icons; it threw in an extra helping of crazy ahhh weather too. It’s been ghastly, but like sex, life requires patience. Let’s all collectively breathe and agree to look at this from a different angle.
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  2. I’m 28 and Just Learned What a Real Orgasm Is

    a woman lies on the bed looking satisfied and happy

    By Erika E. Wade

    This is gonna be sad, but I believe I’m having a crisis. What if sex hasn’t led to orgasms for me in the past. What if I was so good at faking it, I fooled myself? At this age, and with the amount of sex toys I have, I’m realizing having an orgasm during sex is, well, hard. Now I know what my Big O feels like, I’m going for it at all costs. Maybe you can too.

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  3. An Intro to Lesbian Sex: Next Level Intimacy

    An Intro to Lesbian Sex

    By Jessica Buck

    Provided consent is in place, taking your intimacy with someone to the next level means opening up a vulnerability that coincides with pleasure. We learn how to navigate this vulnerability with practice, but your first few times can be awkward and confusing, especially if you've received little to no true education on the physical and emotional logistics of "how to have sex." Let’s change that with a walk through of the basics of lesbian sex, because vulva on vulva action is worth the deep dive and frankly, it's the tits (pun intended).
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  4. Protect Your Energy: How to Energetically Cleanse Yourself After Casual Sex

    a person dips into a bath filled with rose petals

    By Gabriela Herstik

    Like everything else, sex is an energy exchange. And for those of us who engage in casual sex, the energy isn’t always exactly what we expect. When we sleep with someone, we form a connection with them, even if it’s for one night; sometimes this connection dissipates, and sometimes it lingers. If we are aware of our subtle body, and the energy system along the base of our spine known as the chakras, then we can make sure that we cleanse and clear the lingering energetic remnants of our sexual partners. In this piece Gabriela Herstik shares some simple techniques for cleansing our auric and energetic bodies after engaging in casual sex. Through breathwork, visualization, and working with tools like sacred smoke and ritual baths, we can make sure that we’re honoring our energy as much as our physical body, and that we’re having the safest sex possible in every realm.

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  5. Why You Should Incorporate Sex Toys into Partnered Sex

    one person embraces another in a bed with rumpled sheets

    By Gabriela Herstik

    Sex should be fun, and while they’re called sex “toys” for a reason, there is still unfortunately plenty of stigma surrounding sexuality and how we enjoy it; whether the stigma is around who we engage with sexually, what we like or how we like to express ourselves. The work of unlearning harmful narratives around shame never stops! And one of the myths that we must unlearn is that liking sex toys, and bringing them into the bedroom, means that you don’t like your partner, or don’t feel like they can satisfy you sexually. The stigma around sex toys in general is extremely harmful; especially when it inhibits you from enjoying yourself during sex. And while it may seem awkward to uncomfortable to ask a partner if you can bring in a vibrator or cock ring to the bedroom, introducing toys into your sex life could be spark you need to reinvigorate your relationship, bring you closer to your partner, or simply make the sex more exciting.

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  6. Asking for Consent is Absolutely Sexy

    two people embrace looking into each. other's eyes.  in a moment of intimacy

    By Erika E. Wade

    Why can asking for consent be so weird? In a lot of communities, it isn’t. In kink communities, consent conversations are as “normal” as fumbling with a condom wrapper in the dark. Why can’t we do that in mainstream society? It seems like consent requires a little more debate and disagreement for the rest of us, but it actually could be so easy. It's time to normalize talking about pleasure, and that includes boundaries. Keep it respectful. Keep it cute. Asking for consent is sexy too.

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  7. Communication Breakdown: How to Ask for What You Want in Bed

    Communication Breakdown: How to Ask for What You Want in Bed

    By Gabriela Herstik

    You deserve to have an abundantly rich sex life. But to get that, it's vital that you're able to ask for what you want in bed. This can be really difficult — it means releasing sexual shame, being vulnerable with your partner, and that you have to know what you’re into. Here's Gabriela Herstik on how, exactly, we can effectively communicate what we want in bed, and why this is so important for our pleasure and sense of sexual security.

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  8. I was a Fuckboy Magnet

    I was a Fuckboy Magnet

    By Erika E. Wade

    Sometimes your love life is a sitcom because you're actually a walking magnet for broken, emotionally unavailable, and non-committal partners. Or, sometimes you could secretly be giving off the vibes of a someone in need of a reminder of their own beauty and power. Here are some tips to help you get over him, and so into you.

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  9. What I Learned from Becoming My Own Lover

    What I Learned from Becoming My Own Lover

    By Gabriela Herstik

    ✨Masturbation Month Special✨If there’s one thing that I learned about sex in 2018, it’s that you’re responsible for your own pleasure. And, that you’re the best lover you’ll ever have. When I decided to enter into a relationship with myself, I put my own pleasure as priority. My solo sex sessions turned into rituals and my exploration of the erotic, BDSM and sex took a forefront in my life. When I became my own lover, I decided to figure out how to give myself the love I wanted, instead of looking for it outside of myself. This is what I learned, and why everyone should embark on a journey of intentional self-relationship.

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  10. Divine Pleasure - What is Tantra & How to Curate a Solo-Practice

    Divine Pleasure - What is Tantra & How to Curate a Solo-Practice

    By Ashley Inman

    ✨Masturbation Month Special✨Tantra has broken more than ever before into our contemporary lexicon with the prominence of resources like Barbara Carrellas’s Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century. It’s becoming less of a weird sound bite from Sting and being understood (and accepted) more a for what it is: a beautiful, personal exploration, an act of shared magick between partners. One of the best, most succinct explanations of tantra I’ve heard is from a mainstream health information outlet: “Tantra is a pleasure-centric practice that encourages self-exploration and mindfulness. It’s similar to meditation and can have benefits both in and out of the bedroom.”

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