Julia Wolov

  1. What Is My Kink?

    What Is My Kink?

    WHAT'S MY KINK?

    It seems every person on the planet has some kind of Kink that they're either interested in trying or desperate to keep doing. Having a special kind of consensual sexual interaction that you like the most does not make you a freak, at least not anymore. Where I live in LA, entire communities of kinky people get together under a common interest, and many of those interests are not exactly mainstream. It got me thinking. What is my Kink? I'm an open-minded lady. I'm tolerant, I'm accepting, I open my arms to all kinds. So why don't I have a kink? I went on a hunt to figure it out.

    WHAT IS A KINK?

    Since I'm no sex-meister, I referred to Los Angeles based marriage family and sex therapist Liz Selzer-Lang, LMFT, for a professional explanation. She explained that in the professional world they don't refer to someone as having a kink:

    "Kink is a broad, umbrella term that describes many forms of sexual fantasy, erotic expressions, and identities which may involve sexual AND/OR psychological role-playing, bondage and discipline, sadomasochism, and other interpersonal dynamics."

    Well, discovering a kink or kinky behavior isn't so easy. I realized as unprejudiced as I am, I'm going to have to get over various social taboos and personal hang-ups, and to do that, I have to educate myself on what's out there. What are the options?

    WHAT ARE POPULAR KINKS?

    According to Selzer-Lang, a popular kink or kink dynamic usually involves a power exchange. And after scrolling Reddit and other popular sites she's right on, but lawd there are so many! How will I ever find mine? I had to narrow them down to the ones that kept popping up.

    AGE PLAY :Young girl and an old guy or young guy old gal. I did sleep with a 26-year-old when I was 34 but don't think that counts. Definitely gonna try this one.

    ROLE PLAY: 

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  2. Sexual Anxiety: We Shall Overcum!

    Sexual Anxiety: We Shall Overcum!

     

    Lots of people have experienced sexual anxiety. Feeling anxious about our sex skills is totally normal, but it can really ruin a horny moment when it happens more than not

    I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and I’ve learned in therapy that anxiety is a future-oriented emotion. The majority of my anxiety comes from future-tripping – what if they have a terrible time? Maybe they think I’m too loose! I forgot to shave. They’re gonna leave me!

    Because of these anxious thoughts, I try to stay present when it comes to sex and not focus on a particular outcome. What can I say? I wasn’t born knowing how to bang.

    Sexual anxiety is something that people of all ages deal with, even if they consider themselves a sexual dynamo. Sometimes, this type of anxiety can be situational and pop up because of a new sexual encounter. Other people might find it hard to have great sex on a regular basis because they have an anxiety disorder. Oh hello!

     

    WHAT CAUSES SEXUAL ANXIETY?

    The most recognized causes of sexual anxiety are feeling insecure about how well we do in bed, what we look like, or trouble with general intimacy.

    Sexual anxiety can appear differently in males and females, but for the most part, it’s related to the fear that whatever they do in the boudoir may be disappointing for their partner. Because of this fear, females may lose interest in sex, have trouble getting aroused, or have difficulty having an orgasm. It can be more obvious in males, like difficulty getting an erection, keeping an erection, or cumming too soon.

    Sometimes, a past traumatic experience - possibly sexual violence can cause anxiety. Or sexual anxiety can result from the way we were raised - feelings of guilt or shame around sex and our bodies. Anyone remember the old saying - if you keep doing that, you’ll go blind! And of course, there are social expectations or “norms” th

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