Lots of people have experienced sexual anxiety. Feeling anxious about our sex skills is totally normal, but it can really ruin a horny moment when it happens more than not
I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and I’ve learned in therapy that anxiety is a future-oriented emotion. The majority of my anxiety comes from future-tripping – what if they have a terrible time? Maybe they think I’m too loose! I forgot to shave. They’re gonna leave me!
Because of these anxious thoughts, I try to stay present when it comes to sex and not focus on a particular outcome. What can I say? I wasn’t born knowing how to bang.
Sexual anxiety is something that people of all ages deal with, even if they consider themselves a sexual dynamo. Sometimes, this type of anxiety can be situational and pop up because of a new sexual encounter. Other people might find it hard to have great sex on a regular basis because they have an anxiety disorder. Oh hello!
WHAT CAUSES SEXUAL ANXIETY?
The most recognized causes of sexual anxiety are feeling insecure about how well we do in bed, what we look like, or trouble with general intimacy.
Sexual anxiety can appear differently in males and females, but for the most part, it’s related to the fear that whatever they do in the boudoir may be disappointing for their partner. Because of this fear, females may lose interest in sex, have trouble getting aroused, or have difficulty having an orgasm. It can be more obvious in males, like difficulty getting an erection, keeping an erection, or cumming too soon.
Sometimes, a past traumatic experience - possibly sexual violence can cause anxiety. Or sexual anxiety can result from the way we were raised - feelings of guilt or shame around sex and our bodies. Anyone remember the old saying - if you keep doing that, you’ll go blind! And of course, there are social expectations or “norms” th